Most of our demo submissions come via email. As a rule these submission are pretty vague, usually containing no more than “I have some music I’d like to release on your label” and link to a Soundcloud. A lot of these just end up in the trash folder since I’m not much interested putting out music by people who don’t even bother to introduce themselves.
This didn’t prepare me, however, for a physical submission we received in the mail a few months ago from a band or artist who appeared to be called Semen Priest. I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or a legitimate submission and, either way, if it was something more sinister.
Perhaps it’s best to start with a complete inventory of the padded mailer:
- A crushed, desiccated rose.
- An unmarked CD-R in a (protective) Zip-lock baggie.
- A condom which APPEARED TO CONTAIN BLOOD.
- And a computer-printed letter (in Comic Sans, no less) which read, “You should do our tape. xoxo Semen Priest. PS- We know where you live.”
Well, that last line was disconcerting. Then I noticed the mailing label was addressed to me personally so I decided this was clearly a friend who’s having me on. I chose to ignore the voice in my head that was telling me: Your name is well documented online as being the guy who runs Arachnidiscs, it’d be reasonable to put your name on the envelope and assume you live there.